The Grieving Process

A Personal Note from Me

Grief is not just something I write about—it’s something I’ve lived through. When I lost someone very close to me, it felt like my heart had been torn from my chest. Everything I knew about myself, my world, and my sense of meaning unraveled. It was a dark, painful time that reshaped who I am. I share these resources not just as a professional, but as someone who knows what it means to sit with sorrow, to question everything, and to slowly find light again. If you're in that place, you're not alone—and there is hope, even if it doesn’t feel like it today. 

Understanding the Grieving Process: A Guide to Navigating Loss

Grief is a natural and deeply human response to loss—whether it's the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or a major life transition. And while it's something we all face at some point, grief can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and isolating.

What Is Grief?

Grief is more than just sadness. It can involve a wide range of emotions—shock, anger, guilt, numbness, confusion, and even relief. Each person grieves differently, and there’s no “right” way to mourn. The grieving process is not a checklist to complete, but rather a personal journey of adaptation and healing.

The Stages of Grief (Kübler-Ross Model)

One of the most widely recognized models of grief comes from psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who identified five stages that many people experience:

1. Denial – “This can’t be happening.”
   A defense mechanism that helps buffer the initial shock of the loss.

2. Anger – “Why did this happen?”
   Anger may be directed at oneself, others, the person who died, or even a higher power.

3. Bargaining – “If only I had done something differently…”
   A way of trying to regain control or make sense of the loss.

4. Depression – “This hurts so much.”
   A natural and necessary stage that reflects the depth of the loss.

5. Acceptance – “This is my new reality.”
   Not about being “okay” with the loss, but learning to live with it.

Important Note: These stages aren’t linear. You may move back and forth, skip some, or revisit them over time. That’s normal.

Alternative Models of Grief

Grief research has evolved, and new models help us understand the complexity of mourning:

Dual Process Model

Developed by Stroebe & Schut, this model suggests we oscillate between:

• Loss-oriented coping (feeling the pain, missing the person), and

• Restoration-oriented coping (adjusting to new roles, rebuilding life).

Continuing Bonds Theory

Instead of “letting go,” this model acknowledges that people often maintain a connection to their loved one—through memories, rituals, or inner dialogue.

Grief Is Not a Timeline

You might feel fine one day and overwhelmed the next. Society often pressures people to "move on," but healing doesn’t happen on a schedule. Some losses become part of you forever—and that's okay.

Coping with Grief: What Can Help

• Talk about it with trusted friends, a therapist, or support group.

• Allow your emotions—don’t judge what you feel.

• Create rituals or memorials to honor the loss.

• Practice self-care: rest, nutrition, movement, creative expression.

• Give yourself grace—grief takes time.

 Final Thoughts

Grief is the price we pay for love. It changes us, but it can also deepen our empathy, clarity, and purpose. If you're grieving today, know this: you are not broken, you are human. And healing is possible.