Types of Grief

Types of Grief: Recognizing the Many Faces of Loss

Grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience. While many associate grief with the death of a loved one, there are various types of grief—each shaped by the nature of the loss, the relationship, and individual circumstances.

Understanding these types can help normalize your emotions and offer language for what you (or someone you love) may be experiencing.

1.     Anticipatory Grief

Grief that begins before the actual loss occurs.

This often happens when a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness or when a major change (like divorce or job loss) is expected. People may feel sadness, anxiety, or dread about the future.

Example:
Sandra’s husband has been living with Alzheimer’s for several years. Although he’s still physically alive, she mourns the connection they once had and fears the day he may no longer recognize her.

2. Complicated Grief (also known as Prolonged Grief Disorder)

When grief is intense, long-lasting, and disrupts daily functioning.

This type of grief persists beyond what is culturally expected and may involve difficulty accepting the death, intense longing, or avoiding reminders of the loss.

Example:
Over a year after his sister’s sudden death, Marcus still isolates himself, experiences nightmares, and can’t resume work. He feels stuck in his pain and unsure how to move forward.

3. Disenfranchised Grief

Grief that is not acknowledged or validated by others.

This can happen when the loss is considered socially taboo or not “worthy” of mourning—such as the death of an ex-partner, pet, or a miscarriage.

Example:
After losing her unborn child at 10 weeks, Dana was told, “At least it was early.” She felt dismissed and grieved quietly, struggling with loneliness and shame.

4. Collective Grief

Shared grief felt by a group, community, or society following a large-scale tragedy.

This kind of grief often arises after mass shootings, natural disasters, pandemics, or acts of violence that impact many at once.

Example:
Following a local school shooting, an entire town gathers for candlelight vigils. Even those who didn’t know the victims feel emotionally affected and deeply saddened.

5. Secondary Loss

Grief related to the ripple effects of a primary loss.

The initial loss often brings a chain of other losses—financial security, identity, social roles, or future dreams.

Example:
After Mia’s husband died, she not only lost him but also her role as a stay-at-home mom, their home, and the plans they had for retirement. Each of these “secondary losses” added another layer to her grief.

6. Absent Grief

When grief is delayed, suppressed, or avoided entirely.

Some people feel numb or disconnected after a loss and may not process the emotions until much later.

Example:
After his father passed away, Daniel stayed busy handling the estate and never cried. A year later, he broke down at a random moment in the grocery store and realized he hadn’t truly grieved.

7. Masked Grief

When grief is expressed in other ways, such as through physical symptoms or risky behavior.

People may not realize their symptoms are linked to unresolved grief.

Example:
Tasha started drinking more heavily and having unexplained stomach pain after her best friend’s death. She didn’t connect it to grief until she began counseling.

Grief Is Personal and Complex

No matter what type of grief you're experiencing, your pain is valid. Naming and understanding your grief can be the first step toward healing.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to cope, consider reaching out to a licensed counselor or grief support group. You don’t have to go through it alone.